Do you remember that movie where a bunch of people are stuck in a high-rise building in some sort of metropolitan area and the building catches fire and everyone fights to survive the smoke, heat and flames? I think it did pretty well in the theaters. It starred Kurt Rustle and that Stevie Baldwin guy. "Backdrorf" I think it was called.

Well, right now, our lives in Philadelphia are pretty much identical to that movie. For the past few days, temperatures here have soared to record levels killing small children and puppies. It may be awful to think that Philadelphians have come to accept lifeless bodies of toddlers littering the streets (their pale dehydrated eyes bulging from a lack of moisture) but just as in "Backdrorf", when Stevie Baldwin said to Kurt Rustle, "Chief, sometimes kids die. Now let's go FUCK THAT FIRE UP!" we've had to grow accustomed to the fact that sometimes only the strong survive. And toddlers sure don't seem to be very strong. Neither do the geriatrics, but hey, what can ya do?

Because of the horrible situation here in Philadelphia (seriously, don't believe us? Look at a weather map you dildo) we've found our 5th floor office to be sitting right around the 90 degree mark making work very, very difficult. Sure, it's cooler in our office than outside but we refuse to wander the streets aimlessly stepping on baby corpses.

So, with that said, we've taken yesterday and today off from writing any witty, hilarious, genius articles about sex, porn, beefs, etc. We're fighting to survive here.

However, we will be podcasting later today which means that we'll have a new 'cast for you to groove on soon, and we'll be tweeting and twatting as we sweat.

We just felt we needed to let you know our status.

P.S. - No matter what the liberal media says, this is NOT global warming. This is a natural occurrence that happens when we don't fight terrorism on all fronts. So think about THAT next time you vote!

P.S.S. - Here's some pictures of hot sweaty girls.

SPORTY GIRLS BUNDLE (These girls SWEAT!)

POPPORN's MAN VS. PUSSY