Sure, we've dated a porn star from time to time. Who hasn't? They're exciting, dangerous and usually pretty damn great at family functions. However, they tend to be a little bit...how do we say...untrustworthy. Just take a look at Kimberly Kane. She was our first girlfriend and it ended up here.
Luckily for us, we've found an absolute gem of a gal and her name is Lily LaBeau. Sure, after the whole Kimberly incident, we weren't sure we'd ever truly love again. But since we found Lily on the internet we have the overwhelming sensation (based on the incredibly erotic photographs we've downloaded) that she feels the same way about us. In fact, our little peanut butter turnip started following us on twitter. If that isn't proof of our undying love we don't know what is...other than a restraining order.
We're so smitten we wanted to take a minute to show you some of the pictures Lily took for us. It's okay to be jealous. We understand.
We found this picture today. We're not the kind of guys to fly off in a rage at the misconstrued meaning of a captured moment in time (like a photograph), clearly, some bonehead boyfriend might think this photo showed something other than Lily's dedication to finding a cure for cervical cancer. Isn't she inspiring?
We didn't know our little bubble-bear had a job (we thought being beautiful was job enough honestly). However, clearly she's in an office here. It's so cute.
In addition, does anyone know what that odd tube at the bottom of the photograph is and why it seems to be infringing on Lily's personal space? Seriously guys, don't be creepy, women have enough to deal with in this patriarchal society.
Ahh, this is our sweetie in her bathroom. She sent this photograph to us on our 3 day anniversary. She said she meant to send it to a guy named "Lord Dick". Such a kidder.
Lily made cookies the other day. Chocolate chip, our favorite. It was so funny, she texted us and said that she slipped making the batter and got Crisco all over her hands. You have to use Crisco to make cookies in case you didn't know! We're not sure what that guy was doing there, but man, that must have been embarrassing for him!
Seriously, isn't she just the dreamiest?
Lily, text us! Some fella named Lord Dick emailed and asked when he might be able to, "Wallow in your girl froth again". Haha, not sure what that means, but it sounds really neat!