Prince Yashua broke his wang? Why wasn’t I told about this?!
Apparently, the well-known performer, best known for sticking his big fucking wang into chicks, broke his ween a little over a week ago while in the midst of banging a lady on camera. I didn’t even realize that such a thing could happen. Boy oh boy, that had to fuckin’ hurt. I’m one of those guys who doesn’t even really like to have my wang touched in anything other than an incredibly delicate manner, so the idea of having my penis actually “broken” is goddamned terrifying.
According to the prince (not sure which nation he’s prince of, but I’m working on finding out), he was working with a new performer named Bethany Benz when his wang got all fucked up:
"She's a newcomer to the game, so I start the scene and I had her in the cowgirl position and it wasn’t working out too well. I didn't like it and the producer didn’t really like it. So I spun her around for reverse cowgirl because we thought maybe it'd be easier for her because of her height. She's around my height. Then 10 seconds into it, her rhythm wasn’t matching with my rhythm. As I put my head to the side to talk to her, the next thing you heard was...[crunch noise].”
Holy fuck. That’s gonna give me nightmares. Yashua reportedly lost a pint and a half of blood out of his broken cock during this debacle.
“I guess it's the equivalent of going to your backyard, you know how you turn on your garden hose and it sprays out? That’s exactly what happened out of my dick. It was like five to six people got massacred in the room, not killed, massacred.”
Again…good god. Nightmares.
When he arrived at the the hospital, Yashua was told right off the bat that he may never do porn again. I’m guessing that also means that there was a possibility that he’d never be able to fuck again, since really the only difference between plain old fucking and making a porno movie is the involvement of a camera. I mean, I suppose it’s possible that his condition was a unique sort of injury that would be aggravated by the presence of a video camera, but I doubt it. It sounds like the idea of his dick ever working correctly again was in danger, which has got to really suck. Not only would he have lost his job (unless cunnilingus porn got really popular really quickly), but he'd no longer be able to feel the sweet embrace of somebody's moist body parts around his erect penis (which, from what I'm told, is a pretty phenomenal sensation).
Lucky for Yashua and all his fans, the emergency dick surgery was a complete success. He suffered a tear to his urethra and adjacent muscle wall, which was easily repaired by, uh, 32 stitches. In his dick. Again, yee-owtch. Yashua should be back to work in two months or so.
POPPORN attempted to contact King Yashua to find out if Prince Yashua is still heir to the Yashua throne, or if this broken-dick stuff negates all promises of future nobility, but we were unable to locate the King for comment. Honestly, we're not even sure if he exists. If he doesn't, it's possible that Prince Yashua's not even descended from royalty, and a scandal like that could send shock waves through the porn industry. But we certainly don't want to jump to any conclusions.