Aw shit! Guess who got their hands on the promo videos for what's certain to be the hottest new spoof to hit the porno world in ages (until POPPORN's Jersey Shore spoof comes out, of course). Yeah, we did! Because we're tight like fuck with Zero Tolerance, obviously. Now, as you probably know, my hopes were pretty high that ALF would be the next spoof to be birthed out of this righteous studio. Of course this is not the case, because really, nobody wants to see an ALF porno. But, on the other hand, that show about catching predators...I think it's actually called To Catch a Predator...folks would be all over that shit like syrup on hotcakes (or something equally awesome).

So, hey, guess what? Zero's about to whack your pornographic consciousness upside the head with To Catch a Predator XXX: MILFs Get Busted, hitting the shelves (and...ahem...websites) on February 23rd of 2010 (which is just a little bit over one month away, for those of you out there who know about counting and shit). What makes this thing worthwhile? Heck, aside from the bravura acting chops of one Anthony Rosano (a dude who's been known to put in a scene-stealing performance from time to time), we're looking at Raylene (who I'm finding hotter than ever these days), Julia Ann (who I've had a little crush on for several years now) and Dyanna Lauren (whose performances alongside Steven St. Croix in old-school Vivid flicks helped make me the man I am today). It's also got Mellanie Monroe and India Summer, who I ain't got no problem with. I daresay I even enjoy their work. Sure, they can't compete with my special memories of Dyanna and Julia, but I'll be damned if they're not two gorgeous ladies who fuck like it's the end of the world.

Furthermore, let me say, as I sat down to enjoy this pair of trailers harvested from the lens of Quasar, nothing could have made my evening more enjoyable than hearing James Deen say the magnificent line, "I can't tell what she looks like. She's dressed like an Ewok".

Well, perhaps some beejin' would have made my evening more enjoyable, but shit, this'll have to do. Enjoy!

KAGNEY LINN KARTER SUPERHERO SEX THERAPIST

HOW TO BE A LADIES MAN