Holy fucking shit.

You know, it was only seven years ago that I was an unemployed college graduate, smoking tons and tons of weed, and not really knowing anything about porno other than the fact that it usually featured images of people fucking that I could use to masturbate to. Who knew that less than a decade later I'd not only work in the porno business, but actually be somehow connected to a movie that would somehow find itself up for a handful of the porn world's most noteworthy (as far as I know) awards?

Seriously, POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck is up for three awards. And TMSleaze is up for another six. How the shit does something like this happen?

Don't get me wrong. All of us here at POPPORN are honored. Honored as fuck, actually. But also somewhat flummoxed and flabbergasted. When I saw that the list of nominees had hit the internet shortly before the whole group of us took off for our extended stomach-widening and heavily intoxicated holiday weekend, I took a glance, never expecting to see our movie in any of the categories, let alone my own name listed as a noteworthy editor. Okay, I wouldn't have been surprised to see Nina Hartley get a best non-sex role nod. Star power is star power and she's Nina fucking Hartley, you know? But other than that I thought the chances of seeing anyone from our small crew of penniless Philadelphian scumbags were pretty damned microscopic. Not that I wasn't proud of our film. I thought we made a fine entry into the pornographic pavilions of America, but as a freshman effort, just the fact that the move was actually made and sold more than one copy was a damned godsend, not that God would have anything to do with us (if he/she/it existed, which it doesn't, in case you were wondering).

I guess what I'm saying is that I feel we owe a heartfelt thank you to everybody who watched our movie or bought our movie and a bigger thank you to the people who chucked in a vote for it. And a big fuck you to everyone who didn't watch it, because, you know, why not?

I gotta assume that our chances of winning many/any of these awards are slim to none, but that shit doesn't matter. And yes, I realize that some folks don't even consider these awards to be all that important, significant or noteworthy at all (easily buffered by the fact that just about everyone I know in the industry is also up for a handful of awards). But goddamn it, fuck it. I'm new at this whole thing. This is not only the first porno movie I've ever worked on, but also the first actual product-for-sale I've ever worked on (editing-wise, at least), so the fact that somebody watched it and liked it has made my goddamn weekend (and probably most of the next week as well).

Anyway, here's what our modest little crew is hoping to walk away from Vegas with:

• Best Comedy, POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck
• Best Editing, POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck (MEAT BALL)
• Best Non-Sex Performance, POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck (Spock BUCKTON)
• Best Group Sex Scene, TMSLEAZE (Tori Black, Francesca Lé, Ben English & Anthony Rosano)
• Best Non-Sex Performance, TMSleaze (MIke Quasar)
• Best Online Marketing Campaign, TMSleaze (www.tmsleaze.com)
• Best Overall Marketing Campaign, TMSleaze
• Best Packaging Innovation, TMSleaze
• Best Parody, TMSleaze

The whole list of 2010 nominees can be found here. Woe unto Gazzman if he should win the award that I so desperately covet. Just kidding. How I could I speak ill of someone named Gazzman?

Anyhoo, I'm sure you'll hear us blathering on about this for, oh, at least another month or so. Plus we have that whole new movie to go on and on about , too, so stay tuned for further developments.

POPPORN: THE GUIDE TO MAKING FUCK

TMSLEAZE