Sometimes, when I'm high, I like to cruise the internet and suss out news items that I might have missed...you know, while I was high. Well, I happened to be high this weekend and low and behold, what do I find?

Now look, II got nothing against Kelly Madison. I don't think I've ever watched one of her movies, and I don't know if I ever will. This isn't to say I think her work sucks or that she sucks in general. Far from it. I simply have never experienced her goods. She's just not my cup of tea. Of course I realize that there are many, many folks out there who would disagree with me. She's clearly got an immense tidal wave of popularity and a loyal fan base. I mean, just look at this guy, for the love of god.

If you chose not to click on the link, good for you. Your choices are your own and no god damned blue text is gonna tell you where to stick your mouse. The thing you were missing was a small AVN article about a Kelly Madison fan who had his face tattooed with the logo of Kelly's company, Pornfidelity. Which is, sort of...well...wow.

Personally, I'm not into tattoos in general. I know lots of people love them and lots of people look really great with them. I've just never had the interest, but if I did, it's likely that I'd choose something just a little bit less conspicuous. I mean, I've always thought that those dudes who had Motley Crue tattoos on their legs were pushing the envelope a little bit. It's a bold statement to permanently mark your skin with the accomplishments of another, and I'd think it could end up as a regret if the work you're promoting on your skin ended up declining as the years went on (because while Dr. Feelgood's got some good grooves on it, it's sort of the last hurrah of the Crue's greatness).

I guess what I'm saying is that, well, a tattoo of any pop culture icon is a risky move, isn't it? And when you're taking that extra step and putting it on your cheek...? And when the pop icon is question is a porn studio...?

Well, I guess you've gotta be incredibly fucking impressed with the studio's content. Either that, or you're really, really desperate to impress Kelly Madison. So much so that you're willing to give up your actual face to get her attention, if only for a moment.

Ah, what the fuck. To hell with objectivity. This guy's the king of all dipshit morons. Good work, your majesty.

I wonder if we can trick some idiot into getting the POPPORN logo tattooed on top of their eyes. That would be a whole new step because it would not only permanently alter the aesthetics of their face, but also probably make them go blind. Come on, who's up for it?

(I pray to god no one takes us up on that one.)

PORNFIDELITY 18

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