Once upon a time, there was a TV program called, "One Day at a Time". It starred Bonnie Franklin as a single mom raising her two teenage daughters played by Valerie Bertinelli and Mackenzie Phillips. You may recall Valerie Bertinelli as the young lady who married Eddie Van Halen and Mackenzie Phillips as the child-actor daughter of Mamas & The Papas lead singer John Phillips. Like other tough and tumble 70's television shows, it was a sitcom that attempted to deal with more grown up issues like life and relationships as seen through a feminist perspective.

However, one issue they sure never dealt with was incest. Or did they...

Turns out that after a life of drug addiction, police arrests and divorce Mackenzie Phillips is coming clean in a new book about an incestuous relationship she had with her very own dad! The incident took place the night before she was to marry in 1979. Apparently, 19 at the time, her father (he of the golden vocal chords) came to her the night of the wedding to try and stop it. We imagine that he didn't groove on the whole marriage thing, it being all establishment and all. Both Mackenzie and her father were raging drug users at the time so while they had their heart to heart, they both got totally fucked up and passed out on the bed.

Then things got weird.

Mackenzie woke up at some point and realized that the reason she awoke was because her father was in the midst of plowing her field. She says that once she realized what was happening she blacked out once again. Soon after the incident (oh she did get married the next day) Mackenzie's life went ape shit. She was fired from her hit TV show, entered rehab (with her dad!) and decided to hit the road with her father under the name, The New Mamas and the Papas (genius). While on tour their sexual relationship became consensual and the 9th ring of hell was complete. Father John even suggested that the two of them run off to a place like Fiji where apparently incestuous relationships were considered awesome. We're not sure whether that was just a delusional belief or in fact the Fijian's know how to fucking party. Nonetheless, fuuuuck.

I guess we'd have to read the book to get more details. For example, how long did this relationship last? What were the long term emotional effects of such a relationship? Did she get to smoke John's ashes when he died? Did he have a big weener? But you know what, we're not gonna read that book, that's gross!

IT'S OKAY! SHE'S MY STEP DAUGHTER!

THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS