It was bound to happen at some point. We who choose to walk in the margins of society often find ourselves out of step with its norms and values and so, it is with great sadness that I retell the tragic (i.e. - retarded) story of how MEAT BALL, proud(?) father, interviewer extraordinaire and all around weird dood, has ended up in jail.

WHAT? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!?!?

Yes, it's true. While we can't confirm all the details (we don't think we were his one phone call) we can tell you what we know.

This past Saturday evening, I was on my way to a local gentleman's club here in lovely Philadelphia called, Club Risque to interview some new girls to possibly add to the team at POPPORN.com You might recall that we recently shot an interview there with the lovely and talented, Jenna Haze. Feeling a bit lonely I thought, why not invite Spock and MEAT BALL along for the adventure? Obviously, they said yes (what else were they going to do?)

The club isn't far from the boys house so they were already waiting for me in the foyer upon my arrival. Now, since many of you have never been there, let me explain to you that the foyer is a small, tiled area where they collect your door fee and as Philadelphia Police Officers mingle. There is an industrial sized heating unit just above the metal detector that seems to pump out 90 degree air at any and all times of the year. Thus, if you are forced to wait for an extended period of time (like say, you have no money so you need to bum entrance fees from your friend and boss who may be more fiscally responsible than you) you may find yourself overheating. Apparently Spock and MEAT BALL forgot about this heater situation as when I arrived, they both were shirtless leaning against the cigarette machine. Thankfully, any officers of the law who may have been stopping by for a visit must have had some sort of call since I entered to a silent door lady staring at the two, soft and pale idiots. I explained to the woman at the register that they were just goofing around and after texting our friend who operates the establishment, clothes were returned to the pasty bodies and we were granted entrance.

After getting them set up at a table with some drinks (more money out of my pocket) and some companionship, I made my way to a separate table to meet with the young ladies that I was there to interview and honestly, get away from my now annoying companions. I'm happy to report that the meetings went very well and you may see some new additions to the site shortly. However, since nothing can really ever run smoothly, my last interview was cut short by what I can only describe as a, "tussle". Realizing the tussle involved my now clearly intoxicated friends, I excused myself to see to the idiots.

The tussle appeared to be some sort of fight between Spock and MEAT BALL. It clearly wasn't over the young ladies at the table as, surprise, they had already had enough of them and left to go back to work. No, this fight seemed to stem from a disagreement over the original 1984 Marvel Universe Secret Wars series and whether or not Battleworld was an ideal phrase to name the planet that was used as the stage for the series. Whatever, I don't need to go into the specifics of the comic. Needless to say, there was a scuffle and some pushing, this caused MEAT BALL to stand up to strike Spock, who stood up as well, accidentally stepping on MEAT BALL's shoe causing him to loose balance and actually fall backwards, losing his shoe and fall down a short set of steps to the floor. Embarrassed, MEAT BALL once again, took off his shirt to reveal his whiteness thus unleashing a torrent of staff and security to swarm MEAT BALL. Spock backed off, security pulled MEAT BALL outside and I ran after. Somewhere in the fracas, something happened which caused the police (having returned to the foyer) to place MEAT BALL in cuffs and haul his drunk ass off to jail.

Assuming this would not be much of an issue, Spock and I finished our drinks and went home. Well, come this morning word gets round that MEAT BALL, dear ol' MEAT BALLhas a few warrants on him for a DUI and failing to appear in court. There also seems to be some issue with child support and to make a long story short, it seems like MEAT BALL is going to be in for a few days to weeks.

How does this affect you? Well, you will be surprised to know that MEAT BALL, while being totally retarded, is in fact our video editor. Those fancy little webisodes you see every week come from his greezy little editing hands. This leaves POPPORN.com with a couple of situations:

1. We must figure out how to edit these webisodes on our own or programming is going to be delayed.

2. Is it worth bailing MEAT BALL out just to get editing done?

3. Was Battleworld really that bad of a name?

We're not sure the answers to either of these questions at the moment so we wanted to give you a head's up that things may be a little screwy around here for a couple of days or so. Bear with us!

FREE MEAT BALL!