Seriously, with the lack of decent journalism systemic of this country I can’t keep this shit straight anymore. First I hear that AIDS is rampant. Then it’s not. Can’t somebody just fucking tell me if it’s safe to use dirty needles again?

So here’s how we’re going to do this. I’m going to give you a bunch of random shit. My thoughts on AIDS, or more specifically on the state of so-called “journalism”, the possible treatment of AIDS (and why we’ll never see it, not that I need it, but Africa might enjoy it) and then I’ll round things off with some pictures from a long lost event I attended months and months ago. So I got a ton of shit to throw at you before I crawl back into my hole and nobody hears from me for another couple months. Lucky fucking you.

First things first though, this AIDS bullshit. I realize I’m late to the party on this one. The myth that AIDS cases have increased dramatically has already been debunked. Good thing for me that was never my concern to begin with. What really bothers me is how this type of bullshit is spread so quickly by media that seeks to keep us in a state of constant fear and hysteria, all of which I’ll get to in a minute. For now though, just to recap what happened, the Los Angeles County Department of Health probably felt they were doing their jobs by reporting that an alleged additional 16 (they later said that AIM actually reported 18) cases of HIV positive tests were recently found to be from adult entertainers. Problem was, and if you’ve been keeping up on the news you’ll know this, that when AIM or the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation reported these figures to the Division of Occupational Safety and Health (DOSH), they (the DOSH) had no fucking clue what the LA County Department of Health (CDOH) was talking about. All of this led to an investigation which resulted in the CDOH admitting they really had no idea how many of the positive results AIM reported were adult performers. Dr. Sharon Mitchell of AIM, who since day one was adamant that reports of an increase in HIV positive adult performers were not true and that because they were an HIV testing facility who catered to the public as well as the adult industry, an increase in HIV positive tests (not that this represented an increase) did not necessarily have any implications for the hardworking folks in porn valley. However, while this was all much ado about nothing it didn’t stop media publications from disseminating hearsay and rumor without any actual facts trying to scare the living shit out of the populace.

Of course, we all know this is fairly commonplace, but it’s just always seemed to me that porn exists in a different universe. Far from the moral crusades of Baptists and other nice, judgmental church-goin’ folk the porn universe seemed to flout the ethical convictions of their boring brethren in the business sector. So, one would think that to a certain extent they are immune to the type of tricks that prototypical corporations need to play in order to make money. They don’t need to make some suggestive sandwich commercial because they sell sex (and not sandwiches) openly so innuendo is not needed. While typical companies rely on the appearance of sex to sell their products, such tactics aren’t necessary in porn because they don’t claim to be something they are not. They don’t support a conservative agenda while getting kids all randy for their product with some bullshit marketing campaign. So to that extent I’ve always felt like porn is more honest. So I’d expect their media to be more honest as well. And to a large extent I still find it to be true. I think AVN does an incredible job of keeping the public informed of what goes on in the porn world without relying on scare tactics and misleading headlines. I mean we should remember that their headlines are what would normally pass for taboo in the so-called “real world” and thus of more interest to everybody (or at least people like us) so sensationalist reporting isn’t needed. They can rise above the type of tabloid journalism churned out by fraudulent media outfits like FOX News (although let’s face it, Geraldo has the kind of mustache made for porn) simply because their subject matter is sensational enough. Really the only problem they have is that they need be cautious of the way that the media outside of the gilded gates of porn reports on the happenings of the fuck-making (everybody else uses the term so why the fuck shouldn’t I?) business. Reports like the false AIDS scare is bound to spread as the moral media keeps an eye on porn hoping for the opportunity to report a scandal or problem. The reasons for this are two-fold. First, it’s bound to happen because porn exists outside of the realm of public decency (in most people’s eyes) and so the hypocrites who shun it can’t fucking wait to sling mud at an industry they chastise without truly understanding. Secondly because of the type of culture we live in, everything is fair game. Everything is of interest, because people are such slaves to this culture of consumerism that they’ve now turned their hardy appetites for information into a full-blown addiction to a steady stream of celebrity news updates (and yes, Twitter, I mean you). It’s this type of shit that leads to the situation mentioned above.

Remember during Bush’s presidency? His ridiculous color coded terrorism alerts (in case kindergartners were interested in knowing the chances of a global apocalypse that day). What about the constant pandemics that are going to extinguish life on our planet as we know it. I mean could this happen? Absolutely. Will it? Probably at some point. Is it happening now? No. But you see that’s what the media does. In this day and age of 24 hours news services they run out of shit to talk about. Now, if they wanted to talk about everything they could probably fill the day. But they’re not interested in recent reports saying that Israeli soldiers are using Palestinian citizens as human shields. They want to report on whether the kid that lost (maybe he won, I’m not sure) American Idol is actually gay or not. That type shit doesn’t happen nearly as often and since we don’t like to cover global news we have to fill the void with made-up-shit. So we get pandemics and terrorism alerts and constant sports analysis which has less to do with sports than the athlete’s personal lives. In this reality TV environment the mundane has become newsworthy in order to fill our never ending thirst for gossip and tabloid journalism. How else could the divorce of a couple of reality TV alums get so much publicity? Fuck, at this rate is it any wonder Congress feels it has nothing better to do than debate the merits of a college football playoff system (which is a stupid idea by the way).

Speaking of AIDS (now, how often do you begin a sentence like that?) I was going to talk about this dude that got cured of the disease after a bone marrow transplant to treat his leukemia and how it could mean that with gene therapy and research a cure could be created but probably won’t because of corporate interests. But this piece has already gotten longer than I wanted and since I know you d-bags can’t pay attention to anything for longer than two paragraphs I’m just going to let you look it up yourselves. Suffice to say if they did pursue it, it could have epic conclusions for the health of our planet. But as long as cum dumpsters from Kansas have their way and fetus cells are privileged higher than the entire fucking continent of Africa we’ll never know if this awful fucking disease could be prevented.

So a couple months ago I attended the Backseat Film Festival organized by the fine folks of Backseat Conceptions. However my photographer disappeared from the face of the Earth (I think she was taken hostage by guerillas in Chile or some shit) so I never put anything up here about it. Well she emailed me the other night (three weeks ago) and forwarded some pictures from the evening so here I am to pass them on to you—four months too late. I won’t talk much about it but we had the opportunity to meet Adam Rifkin (director of such films as Detroit Rock City and Night at the Golden Eagle) after viewing two films Homo Erectus (aka National Lampoon’s The Stoned Age) featuring Ron Jeremy and the Philadelphia premiere of The Dark Backward, which was made in 1991 but never had a premiere in the city. Anyway here’s the transcripts of the interview followed by some pictures from the Film Festival itself as well as the after party where the girls of Burning Angel beat people the fuck up in a little game we all know and love called Strip for Pain. Along with the pictures are some comments that I remember. Those that I can’t, well, I’ll just make up.

Me: What was it like working with Ron Jeremy?

Rifkin: Ah well, working with Ron Jeremy is consistently terrible. He’s a horrible actor, very unprofessional, very unsanitary. I feel bad for him, that’s why I give him mainstream jobs.

Me: So you would say he slowed down the project?

Rifkin: He slowed down the project because he...he moves very slowly. He...uh it takes him a while to get up. He has a problem with narcolepsy, which is widely known, so he falls asleep in his trailer. People can’t find him. It really is always…uh…a pain in the ass.

Me: You think you’re going to work with more porn stars in the future? Perhaps females? (I think Sasha Grey was in one of his other films but again, I’m not concerned enough to check)

Rifkin: I certainly hope so

Me: Have you ever read POPPORN.COM?

Rifkin: Uh…I have actually, I believe I have

Me: You sir are a liar

So there you have it, may be old news but its all good cause I mixed it with old pictures of nice asses. Now are you fucking happy? Wait don’t answer that…I don’t care

Adam Rifkin and Ron Jeremy

Ron Jeremy and some bizzo...

Ron Jeremy sucking on some tittay!

Ron Jeremy sucking on some more tittay, fucking stop dood!

POPPORN Girl Azrael...she might be dead.

Azrael and some dick...

Azrael dickin' some dick...

HARDER!

Whoop, Azrael's sweet ass!

Your mom and some dick's leg...

POPPORN - THE GUIDE TO MAKING FUCK

TMSLEAZE