We love attention. We love the fuck out of it. Some might say we need it to get through our day. But it’s possible to get too much of a good thing, you know? Need an example? Why don’t we look at the events that transpired this very morning, for example. As you may know if you’re a regular reader of our site (and if you’re not, you got a lotta fucking nerve), the always lovely and usually-deep-in-boisterous-laughter Gianna Michaels appeared on the Howard Stern radio program this morning, and apparently she made quite an impression.
I will admit that I personally did not hear the broadcast, as I am far to poor to afford a basic radio (let alone Sirius radio), but Gianna must have plugged POPPORN pretty fucking hard, because YOU MOTHERFUCKERS CRASHED OUR SITE!
Seriously, POPPORN experienced such an influx of traffic this morning that it apparently destroyed the MCP (the machine-consciousness that keeps the internet running) and shut POPPORN down. Seriously, I logged on this morning and got a fucking error message. Feast on that act of violence, will you?
But hey, these things happen. If there’s an ideal way for the best website in the world to crash, this is it. And we thank you guys for lavishing such an awesome amount of attention upon us. Seriously, it’s an honor. We'll do our best to strangthen our site's resolve so we might withstand such an onslaught of readership in the future. It's just...maybe next time, a flower basket or a gift certificate to our local comic shop might be a better way to give us attention tht to crash our site. That's all.
And if you’re reading this, we obviously got this shit fixed the fuck up and are once again up and running, ready to bring you the greatest mature content possible (in the most immature manner possible).
Don’t forget to come to our big-ass party this evening, where you can check out Gianna’s latest movie. You may have heard of it before. It’s called POPPORN: The Guide to Making Fuck, and it’s pretty awesome! Also, if you’re in the mood to whack off, head on over to ZTOD.com and check out their bitchin’ pornos, because POPPORN wouldn’t be where we are today (covered in jizzum) without them.
End of line!