Whoa, remember that innuendo-infused Burger King ad that we posted the story on a little while back? It had a pasty woman with bright red lipstick getting ready to give a double-burger a suckjob and whatnot? Well, the admakers of Europe have done it again, fuckaz! This time, the product in question is everybody's favorite lymon-flavored beverage, Sprite!

The commercial in question features a young German woman blowing a handsome young black dude, or so it would seem. Towards the end of the commercial, it turns out that she's actually blowing a bottle of Sprite, as becomes evident when the bottle ejaculates all over her pretty face. It's actually a little bit confusing. For one thing, why's the girl on her knees drinking Sprite? And why's the dude holding the thing at nuts level? And since when do bottles of Sprite feel sexual pleasure and express said pleasure through high-fructose-corn-climax? I dunno, but you can see for yourself by watching the video here. Hopefully the video's still there. It appears that it's being pulled down all over the place, but I managed to find it on this "Young Turks" page. If the link leads nowhere, search "banned sprite ad" or "soda suckjob" or something. Even if you don't find it, you'll probably find something somewhat entertaining.

So, as I mentioned, aside from the visual suckjob imagery, which lots of people seem to enjoy, the video doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, which pretty much tells us all that it's a fake. Even a company as sexually brazen and audacious as the Coca-Cola company probably wouldn't make an ad like this (though they did contribute a fair amount of money to the film Queens of Pee, from what I'm told by my meth dealer, but he's not the most reliable source). Add to that the fact that Coca-Cola swears they weren't involved in the production of this ad and never authorized such a thing to be done, and you're lookin' at fake city USA.

So, clearly, porno can't really be used in advertising. But shit...maybe advertisers should start doing some product placement in porno. Can't you picture it? Perhaps we're nearing the climax of a hot fuck scene between James "Two Scene" Deen and Tori Black. James and Tori fuck their way through 20 minutes of pussy-flavored bliss, when it's time for the cumshot. Tori gets on her knees, anticipating the load when whooops! James misses, and the load lands on the pile of clothes next to Tori. She stands up, grabs the sweatshirt on top of the pile, and says "God damn it, James! You just jizzed all over my Old Navy performance fleece!"

Of course, by this point, James is already sitting down on the couch enjoying a P'Zone or some other novelty pizza snack from the Hut.

Sounds stupid, sure, but that movie just got paid an extra billion bucks or so from Old Navy and Pizza Hut. Think about it, dudes. I know we will. Bangs and BUCKTON are currently at work on our second feature, POPPORN's Jizztastic Home Depot Pussy Party (Featuring the Hamburglar) It's gonne be fuckin' hot. And lucrative!

Oh, and getting back to that whole Sprite thing? Apparently Sprite tastes like cum. Just so you know. If you want another sexed-up European advertisement, this one's pretty funny. But they should really make something that has those Budweiser frogs gangbanging somebody.

MY HANDIWORD - FAYE REAGAN

POPPORN - THE GUIDE TO MAKING FUCK