We shot a little thing called The Official Jersey Shore Parody about a week ago and wouldn't ya know, we've got a trailer already! That's right, a little morsel of this ridiculous film for you to devour, digest and regurgitate in unholy glory. Sure, some folks will say that Jersey Shore didn't need a parody. That it was, in itself, pornographic. To that we say, FUCK YOU!

Nobody is ever going to accuse me of being a fan of the pro-lifer’s cause. It’s not that I enjoy killing the unborn, it’s just that I’m a big supporter of giving a woman the right to choose what happens to her body. But you know something, as much as I can’t come around to the pro-life way of thinking I can, at the very least, appreciate that they have an opinion that they (hopefully) formed rationally.

Everyone always has some amazing sexual fantasy they want to try out one day. For the longest time I never had one. Not that I thought they were silly (well I guess some of them can be pretty stupid) but I was always satisfied with the sex I was having. Sure, there were new things I wanted to try, but they never fell into the fantasy category. However, the other day I had an epiphany and my one fantasy finally came to me.

You might have heard a little commotion over two adult parodies coming out that deal with the MTV television show, Jersey Shore. Here's the situation (oof, I can't believe I said "situation" when talking about Jersey Shore...or maybe I can.)...way back a couple of months ago (years in terms of porn) we here at POPPORN announced that we were gonna be writing and producing an adult spoof of that, now legendary, show with Zero Tolerance. Being that adult production companies are making porn parodies hand-over-fist these days, they have all gotten into the practice of announcing which shows they are, in a sense, "calling" to avoid any doubling up. It's a gracious practice and, for the most part, has kept the number of redundant parodies to a minimum.

Are you a woman who struggles with road rage and an insatiable libido? Do you often find yourself screaming obscenities through your windshield at the other cars on the freeway while secretly wishing you were in bed, sipping a glass of wine and shoving a man's face into your pulsating vagina?

Hey, shits! POPPORN are artists! Did you know that?

No, I'm not referring to our award-nominated (and subsequently award-robbed) porno movies. Though, in our opinion, our movies have all turned out bitch-ass awesome and are a must have on any true porn lover's dirty smut shelf (Go buy them! We need money!), I don't quite consider them high art. Art, sure. But more likely low art or maybe medium art. I think that's the highest you can go with porno. Unless you're getting into that hifalutin' Andrew Blake style of porno, but seriously, who wants to watch that?

Hey groovers, we got some new advice for you to groove on!

Yep, King Tom is back and he's got more of the shitty advice you've come to base all of your important life decisions on, day in and day out (we hope). Joining Tom for this go-round is non other than Kristina Rose, who we just love the god-damn fuck out of (and are in the midst of shooting for our upcoming Jersey Shore spoof as well)!

Well, it's been a good long time since I've contributed anything to this porno site that isn't the one I work for every day, which you may know as AVN.com. That's either because I'm a deadbeat, as Mr. Bangs of this site has called me, or because I've been drowned for months in work at my real job having to do with that thing in Vegas we put on a couple weeks back.

Okay, folks. It's been a while since we had a new video up on our site. We've been slacking, and we understand that you may be pissed off at us. But god damn it...I swear to fuckin' God...this video's gonna make everything all right.

Hey, we got more porno spoof news for you! Weird, huh? I mean, when was the last time you heard about a porno company creating a parody of a popular TV show or movie?

Apparently I give good blowjobs. I give them so well, in fact, I was asked to start teaching classes all about the fine art of giving them. This is no joke. Sex education classes that teach women hot to take better care of their men have become extremely popular. Hell, they have classes in an fascinating array of subjects...everything from fisting to dirty talk. But I think I'm just gonna stick to my blowjob classes for now.

Aw shit! Guess who got their hands on the promo videos for what's certain to be the hottest new spoof to hit the porno world in ages (until POPPORN's Jersey Shore spoof comes out, of course). Yeah, we did! Because we're tight like fuck with Zero Tolerance, obviously. Now, as you probably know, my hopes were pretty high that ALF would be the next spoof to be birthed out of this righteous studio. Of course this is not the case, because really, nobody wants to see an ALF porno. But, on the other hand, that show about catching predators...I think it's actually called To Catch a Predator...folks would be all over that shit like syrup on hotcakes (or something equally awesome).

POPPORN AND ZERO TOLERANCE UNVEIL ALL-STAR CAST FOR NOT JERSEY SHORE

Canoga Park, California – Zero Tolerance Entertainment announced today its all-star cast for its upcoming parody Not Jersey Shore: Jersey Whores, a spoof of the smash MTV show, Jersey Shore. Since debuting, Jersey Shore has become one of the most talked about programs on television stirring controversy with each new episode.

Disclaimer: this article is in no way related to the pornographic industry, or, in fact, to human sexuality in any way. While POPPORN is, was, and always will hope to remain the haven of the pornographic humorist, occasionally, we are faced with a piece of news that frankly, we feel a responsibility to report on. When important news comes your way, it is the pseudo-journalist's duty to translate that news into a form of prose suitable for their readership. For me, that often means distorting facts, adding my own fabricated details and occasionally simply fictionalizing entire scenarios. But this is not the point. The point is that I came across the small tidbit of news you're about to read, and I couldn't pass it up.

So, now that POPPORN's extended hiatus has ended and we're getting back into the business of concocting amusing anecdotes for our readers, I thought that I should perhaps try to write something. But it appears to be a light week for sex-related news (excluding that whole thing about Gary Coleman whipping his cock out), and I was finding myself in the mood for something outside the usual sex/porn news hole that I usually find myself falling into.

I thought that maybe it would be a nice change to actually interview a pornographic performer. You know, maybe I could get their thoughts and feelings on some subjects near to their hearts, and maybe my own as well. But where to start? Therein lied the rub, as they say.